News of new conspiracy theory: it involves Type 1 diabetics on insulin pumps and French Canadians just over the Vermont border in Quebec and there is an Eyetalian connection.
Apparently, every time a Type I diabetic gave themselves an insulin delivery via their insulin pump, the device was communicating with voting machines and changing Trump votes to Biden. This whole scheme was masterminded and operated by French Canadians using sophisticated satelites and telemetry science (don’t ask me what telemetry science is – sounds spooky to me). The secret base of operations for these nefarious French Canadians was on Lake Memphremagog near an abandoned monastery. I am asking some G Men to investigate this plot and recount the ballots. I am currently in touch with this eager beaver G Man, a Mr. Clark. I am also hearing these nefarious French Canadians trained under some equally nefarious Italians in Barre – I am told there are some “good people on both sides.” The Type 1 diabetics are complaining that their insulin pumps are “rigged.”
The secret papers revealing this “Specter” type plot were found in a hollowed out pumpkin in a innocent looking pumpkin patch. A farmer, a Mr. Hiss revealed the location of pumpkin patch and a new and interesting Congressman, a Mr. Nixon jumped on this revelation and said he will use it to launch his own equally nefarious career hoping to go all the way to the White House.
I cannot make this stuff up – this is hard news. I am getting most of this information from the Trump Tower folks. They have some more “good people” helping with all of this terrible stuff. I am hoping Captain America will get involved – I think he will.
One of my sources was this former Trump staffer and a former barkeep. She mentioned “alternative facts” and that “what the world needs now is more alternative facts.”
I am also hearing there was a lot of illegal cross border traffic with the French Canadian gang using a library in Derby Line, Vermont that literally sits on the international borders. Apparently, the librarian was willing to look the other way with cross border traffic if fines were paid for overdue books in the crossing. The library got a lot of their long overdue “Mad Magazines” returned this way.
One last thread to the story. It seems the French Canadian gang was running a stinkin bad pizza shop out of the abandoned monastery. Many of the gang had “Eyetalianized” their last names hoping this would help with pizza sales. I am also told that many young folks were coming in and out of the abandoned monastery/stinkin bad pizza shop. The young folks were known to be young because many of them were carrying skateboards set up for dirt road use.