A Little Tongue in Cheek -sort of

News of new conspiracy theory: it involves Type 1 diabetics on insulin pumps and French Canadians just over the Vermont border in Quebec and there is an Eyetalian connection.

Apparently, every time a Type I diabetic gave themselves an insulin delivery via their insulin pump, the device was communicating with voting machines and changing Trump votes to Biden. This whole scheme was masterminded and operated by French Canadians using sophisticated satelites and telemetry science (don’t ask me what telemetry science is – sounds spooky to me). The secret base of operations for these nefarious French Canadians was on Lake Memphremagog near an abandoned monastery. I am asking some G Men to investigate this plot and recount the ballots. I am currently in touch with this eager beaver G Man, a Mr. Clark. I am also hearing these nefarious French Canadians trained under some equally nefarious Italians in Barre – I am told there are some “good people on both sides.” The Type 1 diabetics are complaining that their insulin pumps are “rigged.”

The secret papers revealing this “Specter” type plot were found in a hollowed out pumpkin in a innocent looking pumpkin patch. A farmer, a Mr. Hiss revealed the location of pumpkin patch and a new and interesting Congressman, a Mr. Nixon jumped on this revelation and said he will use it to launch his own equally nefarious career hoping to go all the way to the White House.

I cannot make this stuff up – this is hard news. I am getting most of this information from the Trump Tower folks. They have some more “good people” helping with all of this terrible stuff. I am hoping Captain America will get involved – I think he will.

One of my sources was this former Trump staffer and a former barkeep. She mentioned “alternative facts” and that “what the world needs now is more alternative facts.”

I am also hearing there was a lot of illegal cross border traffic with the French Canadian gang using a library in Derby Line, Vermont that literally sits on the international borders. Apparently, the librarian was willing to look the other way with cross border traffic if fines were paid for overdue books in the crossing. The library got a lot of their long overdue “Mad Magazines” returned this way.

One last thread to the story. It seems the French Canadian gang was running a stinkin bad pizza shop out of the abandoned monastery. Many of the gang had “Eyetalianized” their last names hoping this would help with pizza sales. I am also told that many young folks were coming in and out of the abandoned monastery/stinkin bad pizza shop. The young folks were known to be young because many of them were carrying skateboards set up for dirt road use.

Published by Ed Pirie

I am a Vermonter, been one all my life. That just about tells you all you need to know. I am not much of a follower and like to do my own thinking. I value my family and a quiet existence in a very rural part of Vermont. There is a lot in the world I do not understand. My writing is my attempt to wrap my head around much that is swirling around me. Some time ago gasoline pumps changed to the way they look now. I had stopped to fill my Jeep and I could not get the gas to pump to save my life. I went inside and complained to the attendant. She knew me and said, "Ed, the whole world is changing and if you don't figure out the changes you are going to fall off the earth as it spins around." Well, I am not always successful figuring out the changes, but my writing is my way of working through some of them. I hope you enjoy.

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